Romantic, sexual love is an experiential language meant to point us to God; a language that shows us a depth of His love for His people that no other love shows.  Ephesians 5 tells us that God has placed in the heart of man a passion for woman that leads him to pursue and protect her.  And in this passion he has painted a picture on the canvas of creation that displays Christ’s passion for and pursuit of His people.  This passion was hotwired into the DNA of Adam.  The same passion, though fractured by the fall, still exists in the heart of man.  It shows itself in the ridiculous things it leads men to do for the heart of a woman.  Case in point...Jacob. 

Jacob was a man, who like all men, had many flaws in his character.  His name meant “he grasps or he deceives.”  He was always thinking about himself.  He used manipulation to exploit his brother and his father.  But when Rachel crossed his path something happened.  And the passion that was wired into his DNA, the passion to pursue another, did something crazy to him.   It took him outside himself.   Genesis 29 allows us a brief glance into their “story”.  And in this brief glance we see Jacob faithfully working out in a field with dirty, smelly sheep and oxen for 2,555 days; all to win Rachel’s hand in marriage.  And not only did he work, in verse 20, we read:

Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.

2,555 days seemed like only 3 or 4 days...because of the depth of his love.  As I said, love will make men do some crazy things.  Young ladies who are looking for a husband, I pray that God will bring a man into your life that has this type of love for you.  And I beg you to not give your heart away to the first guy who comes by and says “I love you.”  Because they are willing to say that to pizza; so don't be impressed.  I mean, do they love you with a Jacob-type love.  A love that is willing to work, and a love that is willing to wait for you.  Please take serious the command of God to “guard your heart" (Proverbs 4:23). 

Single men who are reading this, my advice to you is simply this, be a real man. Real men don't look to exploit and take from the woman of their dreams; they seek to be the man who helps her become the woman of God's dreams.  I know He doesn't sleep, but I hope you are tracking with me.  God has called us to possess a crazy love for the woman we marry.  A love that finds its standard not in Jacob, but in Jesus. 

Husbands love you wives as Christ loved the church, and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word. (Ephesians 5:25-26)

He doesn’t ask you to give seven years of your life, but rather, the entirety of your life.  Thus, despite what media tells you, love is not displayed in one night, but over a lifetime of self-giving and self-sacrifice.  In the single years, the magnitude of your love will be displayed in your willingness to wait (guarding her purity) and your willingness to work for her (spending time talking to her and gaining her trust).  

And ladies, note of caution:  You will never find a perfect man--other than Jesus.  If you have insecurities in the depths of your heart, you need not look for the perfect guy to reach into the depths of your heart and heal you of those.   That is something only Jesus can do.  When it says guard your heart in Proverbs 4; it could be translated, "prison guard your heart."  If he isn't willing to work and wait; then you walk.

I write these words as one who has gone before you and hopes you follow HIS path.

In His Grace,

Mike